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Friday, February 13, 2009

~HapPie Bd@y t0 mE~

hmm...now the clock strikes 12..my one and the only one 13 Feb 09 was over..

When you think about birthdays, What's the first thing that comes across your mind?

birthday cake?ooh,i'd just love choc and mint flavor! And..and i always wanna try ice-cream cake!

OR candles?OR any happy birthday songs?

OR birthday party?


But YESTERDAY,i made it simpler and easier=) no birthday cake,no candles,no birthday songs,and no parties. I just don wanna follow the ancient and classical Roman culture =P (o.0,finding an excuse)the way of celebrating birthday is just being rejected. Maybe i lost my passion of celebrating my Big day ^^ i'm not that excited as anticipated..in fact, i didnt have birthday celebrations with my family for the past two years..

AM I GETTING USED TO THE DULL,NORMAL LIFE UNTIL I FORGOT HOW IMPORTANT MY BIRTHDAY IS?

MY BIRTHDAY HAS BECOME A- NOTHING?

WHY AM I STARTING TO BELIEVE THAT BIRTHDAY IS JUST A MEANINGLESS RITE OF TRANSITION?

AM I LOST?I CANT FEEL THE WARMTH AND HAPPINESS OF BIRTHDAY.

WHY I FEEL NOTHING.NOTHING.NOTHING.

WHY AM I CRAPPING HERE?
ARHHHH..........
well, i think i've gone crazy,desperate to celebrate with my family..i miss the time we celebrated together..miss the time i blew the candles, sang happy birthday songs, took sweet family photos together, enjoyed eating our cakes...these are the precious memories we had together..i just..dont wanna miss any of them..

i rmb years ago,someone told me..[why u wanna celebrate birthday? ]It was a day when yr mom was in a great agony. when mom was pregnant, she had a big tumour in somewhere near to uterus. She bear the pain and underwent operation..yes, finally thank God she gave birth to me..but i'm a crying baby..haha,my hobby at that time was just crying,crying for every 30 minutes..

If I were my mum at that time,i'd just KILL me.
but i'm still alive right now.
=P

yrs ago i just didn get it.I thought that she didn love me anymore.IF SHE LOVES ME,THEN WHY SHE STOPS ME FROM CELEBRATING BDAY?

realise that my birth = her utter pain. havent try it before but when i taste it in the future,i'll be able to know how painful it is.

Appreciate the one that loves you-mom, she is the one who risks anything to save you.

ESPECIALLY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY.

forget this emo and contradicting post.I'm just crapping.

PS:actually she wanted to organise a Birthday BBQ for me,but i think it's soo troublesome..haha~

anyway wish me a happy 20th birthday =P

3 comments:

Ivy아이비 said...

haha,ur birthday r much better compared 2 me,i never celebrate with friends bfor,just birthday song frm classmate,smses,n a ordinary pizza.since form 5,my birthday present received less than three,very pity....u considere lucky adi

Unknown said...

haha~when you study in Uni i'm sure that you'll get lots of frens to celebrate with you..haha~~

i cant celebrate with you thenT.T cuz maybe we dont study together edi v.V

夜公主 said...

lu xuen~ become mature d oh. the 1st year of 20+ years old. haha.. but after half a year, i also old d. anywhere, all the best to u ^^